delusions

 

Don’t give in to the weight of slumber closing in on your eyes.

Pulling your eyelids down quick as shades in the night.

For when you sleep, they scurry towards you with angry faces and jagged lips.

Running, screaming, crawling – these lost creatures.

Souls horrendously pining, hopelessly wanting.

Souls wasting away, missing loved ones, longing for their return.

Souls wanting total freedom, total peace, their ticket home.

They beg for forgiveness – these horrid creatures.  You can’t bear to listen.  Not tonight.

Right now, choose not to play their torrid games.  See them fly towards you, slam the

door only to witness their turmoil.

Their long cold fingers reaching, searching under your door.

Don’t give in to the weight of slumber closing in on your eyes.

For it is always you they want to fight.

defeated

broken

before she peels herself out of bed

counting the minutes before she’s back there

hears the chatter outside her head,

but she ignores it, sighs

looks out the window

wills herself out there…

to go wherever they’re going

wonder what his cigarette tastes like

wonder how that ink feels flush against the skin

blush, have to look away

wonder if that was a sin

 

surely she’s more than this

to just sit here, sit here and just exist

to take up this space

longing to have the laughter last

waiting for life to return to her face

she wishes herself to be anywhere,

any place else, away from this chaos

but alas, she remains, sighs

broken

before she peels herself out of bed

night

the way he is right now

I’ve learned to walk silently across the floor 

I’m a tall, strong woman with weary size ten feet

but I’m here tiptoeing and praying not to wake the manic beast, 

the way he is right now 

The past 2 weeks were okay

how I wish that guy could stay 

the one with the kind blue eyes 

the one that copies the clouds 

in the sky

the one who speaks gentle words 

and doesn’t wish for me to die

He doesn’t mean it, they always say 

But seriously, doesn’t dawn always beckon a new day?

Oh God, what if he means it?

These are the thoughts that make me lock my door

before I attempt to sleep

thoughts that make me say that extra prayer 

thoughts that make me easily tiptoe with my weary size ten feet 

to walk silently across the floor

begging not to wake the manic beast