why is it that i hear screams in the night. when i close my eyes, and it’s quiet. flashbacks of you, having to be restrained. you biting, biting. i’m bleeding. memories of you strapped down, pulled full of ketamine. close your eyes, close your eyes. i’m pleading.
Look at you
with the pink sky behind you
adjusting your cap
like you care
Look at you
with your bored eyes closing
faking your sleep
like a dare
what airs you try to possess
as the dragonflies try their best
to provide proficient company
as you carefully trim the trees
to look like those jewels
that rest upon your breast
must have been a thousand years old,
those scars on her hand
when she forgot her looks and
her dreams ran out the door
that yellow still makes her dizzy
and her tongue still prefers what’s fizzy
maybe her soul hasn’t lost its spark
maybe she hasn’t lost her life
this beauty gots to even out the ugly
the motion gots to keep you steady
yet every day is just the same
left is right, this way is that way
the sun is square, the sky is brown
your sad is mad, your up is down
the beauty gots to even out this ugly
this hope gots to get you ready
the beach was littered with red that night
near the end of September
the sun was mourning the end of its reign
the fact that he’s so blazing here year-round
was little consolation
he gave himself a pity party
I just remained and enjoyed the constellations
I wonder if the Hulk ever hit his mother.
Did he ever graze her cheek
with his massive green fist so fast,
so hard, she couldn’t speak?
Throw her out of his room,
out the window, out of the house?
And I wonder if when he returned to normal,
did he recognize her scars, her hurt.
I bet he couldn’t remember–like him.
Darts his eyes from the display of pain.
Doesn’t move when she flinches away.
Doesn’t recognize the tears
because he can’t remain.
And I wonder if Stan Lee understands
what it really means to love the Hulk?
To stand in his way regardless.
The supernatural drive to help him stay calm,
despite the horror, despite the harm.
The relentless love at stake…
all the tender, godforsaken love it takes.
been so long sometimes I forget the color of your hair
miss the way you meandered through our home
much like those ghosts with tambourines around
their ankles and faraway thoughts in the air
been so long sometimes I forget the way you cared
miss the vision of you with gold around your neck
much like those spirits with the sun at their backs
their warmth and faraway peace in their prayers
woke up and there was doom, so much
it was like I was drinking it from a cup
perhaps it’s because I dreamt of those black
ribbons that like to get tangled in my hair
that damned pretentious silk
I feel them now but I have to forage for
those twisted inky feminine cords
don’t you see them
you have to see them I swear
you insist they aren’t even there
I know I must give up my lost search
not question this pain on earth
long to walk without a step
breathe but not take a breath
just be and not let go yet
top of the palm hunched like a spent witch
fallen over her broom, its thick green
hair barely tossed by the wind.
her brown limbs lacking oxygen,
left her tattered luggage stuck in the mud.
that abandonment makes me think of
all those stories of hate you wrote
thinking it would make me want to
turn the page, but I tossed your book into
the water. and it makes me wonder
how spoiled creatures can hold so much
ugly and suffering, yet leave it
displayed out for the offering.
makes me want to cut the witch down,
rid my sight of vile palms that
make me think of so much pain.
makes me wish I never followed you
down this beguiling path of eternal
sunshine and hidden rains.
makes me wish you knew me before this.